2-4 Learn to Fight Fair

Conflict – two or more people trying to occupy the same space or control the same resources.

  • Learning to handle conflict correctly(fighting fair) is the tunnel to intimacy. (1 Corinthians 14:32-33, NKJV)
  • Believe that every conflict can be resolved if both parties want to follow God’s plan for it.
  • The goal of conflict (Fighting Fair) is not to win and have victory but to resolve the conflict. (Matthew 5:9, NKJV)

“Never again list” (For Fight Fair) during conflict:

  • Never call each other names.
  • Never raise your voice.
  • Never get historical.
  • Never say “Never” or “Always”.
  • Never threaten divorce or separation.
  • (James 1:19, NKJV; Proverbs 21:23, NLT; Proverbs 16:24, NKJV; Proverbs 15:1-2, NKJV; Proverbs 18:21, NKJV; Ephesians 4:29, NKJV)
  • Learn to make anger work for you, not against you. (Ephesians 4:26-27, NKJV

Learn the “ABCD” of anger:

  • Acknowledge your anger.
  • Backtrack the primary emotion or cause. Sadness, loneliness, disappointment, wrong expectations, feeling attacked, embarrassment, feeling unloved, jealousy, disrespected, insecure, etc.
  • Consider the real cause is that you expected everyone to want and feel like you do.
  • Determine the best way to deal with and handle the situation.

Four Signs You’re Not Fighting Fair:

  1. There’s Criticizing
  2. There’s Contempt.
  3. There’s Defensiveness
  4. There’s Stonewalling