2-1 How to Deal with Conflicts


Conflict is Normal, Natural and Neutral

What makes up conflict?

The distance between Expectations and Reality is conflict.

The Greater the distance, the greater the conflict.

Expectations always start with, “I thought”

Example: Husband leave and tells wife he will be back at 10PM.

The expectation is 10PM. The further away from that he gets, the more the wife says, ” I thought your were…”

Most conflicts are not resolved due to focus on the wrong issue.

Who did it? Why did it happen? Is not the place to start.

When you go from the “What” to the “Who” you escalate.

  • What happened to the expectations? While the communication can be clear in the mind of the communicator, the questions is was it clear in the mind and  eyes of the receiver.
  • How can we in the future create better expectations.
  • When you have conflict, stop and ask “Was the expectation clear?”