James Greer: 00:01 Well, let’s welcome the Alexandria campus. Hey, woo. Well, happy Thanksgiving. Man, there’s nothing happier than to have a blessed and happy marriage and relationships. In fact, that’s what we’re going to be talking about today. How to have a blessed marriage or how to have a happy marriage and happiness is a result of practicing and repeating the right habits over a long period of time. So see, if there’s an area in your life that you’re not happy, you probably need to change the habits that you’re practicing and begin to practice the right habits, long enough and you will produce happiness. See, God wants to bless us. He wants to bless every area in our life, but also God gives us a choice.

James Greer: 00:57 He told us in Deuteronomy 30:19 he said, he called all heaven earth as a witness. I mean, if God’s going to call all heaven and earth to witness, it must be important. Amen? He said today against you that I’ve set before you life and death, a blessing and curse, therefore choose life. In other words, some of you all today could choose life and you could choose a blessing maybe that you hadn’t had in a long time in a relationship, maybe in your marriage and, but God says, I want you to choose life. And so there’s some habits that you could practice starting today that can make you have better relationships. The number one habit is this continued to remember to put God first in your life. You said, well, brother James, I knew you’re going to say I’m, you might know I was going to say that, but I can tell you how easy it is to forget that as soon as we drive off the church parking lot, everything else, if we’re not careful, it takes place. The Psalmist said in Psalms 127:1 he says, listen, unless the Lord build the house, remember the word build, okay, you build in vain, unless the Lord guards the city it is in vain.

James Greer: 01:55 So, God tells us there’s a couple of things you’ve got to do. You need to, the Lord’s got to build the house and you’ve got to guard your house. Let me put it another way. Build your house on the word of God and guard your house against the world, because that’s what’s happening. The world is trying to come in. Everything from the world, to the social media, to what you see, to what you hear. And God says, listen, read the word, speak the word. You know what? What if you start texting the word? Do you text your wife every week? I do. What if you start texting your wife a verse every week? Say, honey, I just want you to know that I’m thinking about you or vice versa and you text your mate the word of God. Because see, we’ve got to build our house upon the word of God.

James Greer: 02:46 There’s nothing else, you’re going to build a house. Because we’ve got to protect it and guard against the world. In other words, we’ve got to become sensitive to the world and the devil, what they’re trying to into our house. It can creep in real easy, and if you’re not ready for it, if you’re not aware of it, see God didn’t invite him in the house. We allow them in the house. God makes it real clear unless we allow him to build the house. Unless we guard the house that you’re going to wake up one day and it’s going to be empty. As a pastor, sometimes I see couples that were coming to church and they were growing in the Lord and I see and they start falling out and they start getting involved in other things. I almost want to go and warn them. The Psalmist said, in Psalms 127:1 lest the Lord build the house, you’re going to labor in vain.

James Greer: 03:39 The devil’s trying to pull you in every different direction. He’s trying to pull you in your hobbies and your sports and everything else. The world is set up really to pull you away from your relationships and away from God. But, the Bible says a house divided against itself, just a little stand. Let me give you some really simple things to do with each other every week. First of all, tithe together, because where your treasure is your heart. So, just come together and say, honey, I want to have a heart for God. So let’s tithe. Second of all, come to church together. Listen, your wife can’t be the spiritual head, what the husband needs to do for itself. I see man, what’s going on spiritually? I send my little wife to take care of that. Where do you find that in the Bible? Get off your butt and goo yourself. Amen? I mean, men, you need to be going. You need to be the spiritual head, you need to be taking the initiative, you need to be helping with the kids, you need to get in the car, you need to go. Amen? Come to church together.

James Greer: 04:38 Get in the word, get under the word. Take one principle every Sunday, at least one thing. Not only apply it, but talk about it. When you leave church, don’t immediately shift out of gear. Say honey, what is the one thing that you got out of the message? Some of you are going to say, well, nothing, but God’s word won’t return void. I’m always preaching the word so, out of all the messages, all the work, there’s at least one thing you could get and you all could talk about it. Amen? You can say, Hey honey, how did, how do you think we could build? How do you think God’s word could build a house? Honey, what do you think we should guard against, allow in our house? So, talk about one thing yourself with the word.

James Greer: 05:32 Honor those in authority over you both at church and on your job. Practice that. God blesses that. We have a society today that laughs about dishonoring those on your job, and the police force, and your Pastor. Don’t do that. Learn to honor those in authority over you in every area of your life. Because what happens when you don’t honor those over you, whether it’s at church or home or wherever, then your kids see that and you want them to honor it and they are not doing to do it. Amen brother James. As you can get involved in some area, serve in some area or get in some small group. Have your children in church, have your kids in church, have them involved. Text the word each other. So lest the Lord build your house you labor in vain.

James Greer: 06:30 All right, second of all, guard your hearts. Guard your heart. When Jesus was asked, the Pharisees came to Jesus and they said, why did Moses allow divorce? Well, the Pharisees, they didn’t really care. If you are read Jesus, what he thinks about marriage and how to handle it, you can just go to Mark 10:2-5 and you can just read it. We’re going to kind of walk through it. The Pharisees came and asked him this, is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife? They did that just to see, the Pharisees knew that Jesus loved marriages and he knew that Jesus wanted marriages to be blessed, and he knew that Jews hates divorce, but even at divorce, Jesus always loves the people anyways. Amen? But, Jesus answered them and he said to them, what did Moses command you? And they said, Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and dismiss his wife. Well then he said, and Jesus answered and said, you know why I did it? Because the what? Hardness of your hearts.

James Greer: 07:24 He wrote you this preset. In other words, God said, no, today is because the hardness of their heart. Man, you better guard your hearts and it’s very easy for your heart to get hard. The longer your married, you pick up some little something, they said something, they did something and you don’t guard your heart. The Bible says another translation. You are no longer responsive and sensitive to the word and the will of God. You just came in, but you weren’t sensitive to what God was preaching. You weren’t sensitive to what God’s word. That’s why Proverbs says, guard your heart with all diligent, for out of it springs all the issues of life. Where do all the issues in your life come from? Your heart. Where do all the issues in your marriage come from? Your heart. Every issue you’re dealing with in your life sprang up from your heart.

James Greer: 08:14 You better guard your heart, and if you’re in a relationship, you better guard it. He was telling the Pharisees, that’s why Moses allowed divorce in the first place. Hebrews puts it this way. He said, look very diligently, be careful not to fall short of the grace of God and Hebrews 12:15 the grace of God is the power and the joy to do what God calls you to do, no matter what you’re going through, lest the root of bitterness pop up. Unless contamination enters your relationship unless it Springs up and it troubles you, then many are defiled. When you want to change the fruit in life, you have to change the root and bitterness is a dangerous root. It absorbs, it stores, and then it grows. Bitterness produces a poisonous fruit. You better forgive quickly and you forgive repeatedly. We don’t want to give our mate. We don’t give other people what they deserve. We want to give them what they need. If God gave us what we deserve, he’d wipe us all out. Amen? That’s God’s grace. He doesn’t give us what we deserve. He gives us what we need. Don’t let bitterness guard your heart. Protect your heart. Forgive quickly.

James Greer: 09:15 Third, third. Oh, you all ready? You’ve got to understand your true identity. We’re in the middle of an identity crisis right now. I’ve never seen anything like it. Mark 10 I’m going to read it four through nine but it says this, Moses permitted an amend or certificate, Jesus answered and said to them because of the hardness of your heart. That’s why I say therefore, guard your heart. Amen? Then verse six says this, you’re ready? From the very beginning of creation, God made, God made, from the when? From the beginning. From Adam and Eve. You can go all the way back from the very beginning.

James Greer: 10:16 He said, God, man, when I created man from the dust and I took a bone out of Abraham and I created Eve, and I call them male and female. The God’s word says this. Listen, we have an identity crisis in America. It’s horrible. I’ve never seen a time when boys, girls, men and women are having such a identity crisis. They’re struggling with who they are. If you’re here today and you’re gay or you’re transsexual, did you know at Journey Church, you’re still welcome. Amen? Do you understand that at Journey Church, If you’re gay, you’re welcome to come to Journey Church. Everybody said, Amen. But, I don’t see in the Bible. I see where God made male and female and I don’t see anything in between, but you’re still welcome and we still love you, but the Psalmist said in Psalms 139:14, God knows how he made you.

James Greer: 11:07 He said, I’ll praise you because you’re fearfully, you’re wonderfully made. Marvelous are your works, and our soul knows the oil. That message puts it in no way. He says, I thank you. He said, you’re breathtaking. Your body and soul. I am marvelously made. God says, I worship and adoration. What I created, he not. I said, you know me inside and out. You know every bone in my body. You know exactly how it was made bit by piece, how I was sculptured from nothing unto Southern. God said, listen, I know you. God said that. You’re fearfully. You’re wonderfully, you’re amazing, you’re breathtaking, you’re marvelous, and God said, I’m made. You know? See, when you start to lose your identity, you lose your power with God. When you lose your identity, you begin to make fun. Of other people. When you lose your identity, if you’re not careful, instead, a lot of people, you are hurt.

James Greer: 12:05 People say, I feel sorry for the young people today. I don’t think it’s funny at all. I mean, they’re bombarded with TV and media and mass confusion, but seen apart from knowing who you are in Christ, you will struggle with your identity. You’ll struggle with what’s right. You’ll struggle with who you are and what’s your purpose. You’ll struggle if it’s okay if I’m a girl, should I be a boy? If I’m a boy, is it okay to be a girl? You struggle with those things. That’s what’s going on. That is really happening. We need to talk about it. Amen? Without knowing it, you’re going to struggle.

James Greer: 12:44 Now, I want to tell you can struggle with that because let’s see. I believe different, I believe you could be born with a tendency, or a predisposed tendency for the same relationship, with the same male or female. I don’t understand why. I don’t understand why some of you all are struggling with the tendency to stay on drugs. Amen? You may have been predisposed to that. You don’t understand why, but you’re still struggling with it. Amen? Somebody else it’s anger, somebody else it’s drinking. You don’t understand why you have a tendency to have that particular behavior, but you have it. You don’t have to totally understand it. You just have to learn how to deal with it and deal with it biblically. Amen? And so I believe there’s some people that have a tendency to be drawn to the same sex and they don’t understand it, but you don’t have to totally understand it. What you have to do is learn to deal with it biblically. You have to say, God be true and everybody else be a liar. The media is a liar, social media is a liar, TV is a liar. God, you’re true and nothing but you is true God, and you can set me free and nothing else can set me free. I’ve got to shut the world out. I’ve got to believe what God said. I’ve got to find out who I am in Christ. Amen? Nothing else.

James Greer: 14:18 Then you get married. Holy Moses, bless you all heart. Do they struggle? They struggle. Who’s the man? Who’s the woman? I tell you. Have you all watched TV lately, man. There’s some mean motor scooter women. All the women are in charge. They’re bigger, they’re badder, and they’re faster than all the men. It’s just an era we’re going through. So I mean, you come home and of course you struggle. Hey honey, you probably should do everything. You the girl, no you the man. Don’t go for that girls. I don’t care what TV says. That’s not true. You know, in most cases there’s a few women that you’re stronger than you are, but most of them aren’t. Most men are physically stronger than their wives, most of them.

James Greer: 15:15 In fact, the Bible says in 1 Peter 3:7 it says this, husbands likewise, dwell with them with understanding, talking about your wives, giving honor to your wife. Honor you wife. They say honor what? That she’s a weaker vessel. She’s equal with God with you, but she’s physically weaker as being heirs together to the grace of life. You better listen to this, that your prayers may not be hindered. Did you know that the way we honor each other in a husband and wife, greatly determines the grace of life that we have in our prayer life.

James Greer: 15:56 The grace of life or couples as a life is exceedingly, abundantly above the average life. In other words, God says, I have a life for couples. That understand where they’re at, that understand how they operate. For those couples, I want them to have a life that could exceedingly, abundantly above the other couples life, but if not, it’s going to hinder your prayer life. There’s going to come a time you need to get a hold of God and maybe it’s your kids or your grand kids or your life. Maybe it’s a sickness, maybe there’s a problem, and instead God says, you all better get right.

James Greer: 16:24 Did you know one of the reasons you get right with your mate is because it hinders your prayer life? Have you had, there’s another translation. The living translation says, the husband must be careful with his wife. Be thoughtful of her needs, honoring her as a weaker sex. Remember that you and your wife are partners. You’re partners in receiving God’s blessings. If you don’t treat her like your partners together the two are becoming what? One. Your prayers will be hindered in many times, not answered. Understanding our identity affects every area in our life, especially our prayer life.

James Greer: 17:06 So men, it’s okay to be the man of the house. It’s okay to be stronger. Ladies, it’s okay to be weaker. It’s okay to say sometimes, honey, I’m just worn out. I’m not as big. I’m not as bad. I’m not as strong as you. There is nothing wrong with that. Okay ladies? Amen? It’s okay guys, if you want to fill her car up, you don’t have to, but if you will do it, she doesn’t care. Go ahead. You open the door. It’s okay. I mean, be the man. Step up, man. I’m tired of all these wippy, sorry, I did not say it, woosey men.

James Greer: 17:54 I don’t care what the media says. It’s not true. God created you to be a man. Be courageous. Be fearful, take control, love her, honor her. Be in awe at her. A simple way to do that, sometimes is to do diversities of responsibilities. In other words, instead of fighting over who’s going to do what? So just sit down, say, honey, who’s going to cut the grass? Who’s going to do the dishes? Who’s going to do the clothes? Who’s going to do it? And just, you know, it doesn’t matter. I know a couple. He said, I would rather do the dishes and the clothes, than the yard. Now, not me, but if that suits him. more power. He has a little soft hands and he likes it. Yeah, I’d rather do the yard. I’d rather do the yard, but it makes him happy so I don’t care. Amen? It’s just the diversity of responsibility. What it is instead of fighting over it, you all sit down and talk about it. Amen? So we have an identity crisis going on, but God said I solved the identity crisis. Third, third. Except your own identity in your home, in your marriage and with Christ.

James Greer: 18:59 Fourth, fourth. Learn to depend on each other before others. Learn to depend on each other before others. Mark 10:7 for this reason, a man shall leave his father’s mother and joined to his wife. In other words, learn to leave and cleave. Amen? Learn to be independent from in-laws and your outlaws. I mean let me tell you what. If you’re here and you’re a woman and he can’t provide for you, do not marry that sucker. Don’t marry him if he says, you’re going to work. No, you’re going to go to work. You’re going to take care of me. You’re going to do that. Just break up with that sucker until he can provide for you. Even Adam and Eve. Adam already had a job. He was already tilling the garden before God ever brought him. Eve. Amen? I’m serious.

James Greer: 19:58 And then ladies, once you’re married, don’t go to your little girlfriends instead of your husband. Don’t. So I say, man, don’t start telling them while your Palm. Go talk to your husband. Don’t talk to your boss. Don’t talk to your parents unless they both agree, or your friends. First when you go to as your mate. See, God has a creative order for life. You go to God first, your mate second, and then you take care of the kids. It is not the kids first and your mate second and God third, by the way. God and your mate comes before your kids, make time for them. It’s both growing together to be better one.

James Greer: 20:46 Fifth, fifth habit. Don’t let anything or anybody come between you. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no man separate and men let no woman separate. Don’t let any other man or the woman come between you. Amen? Don’t start flirting at the office. Don’t start texting, don’t start Facebooking. Don’t start doing any of that stuff. Amen? And whichever one that is, that disappears after you’re done doing it, quit doing that one. Don’t let any person, any job, any hobby or any habit come between you and your mate. Amen? They usually start out small, then they get big. It can be as much as a conversation that you shouldn’t have had. Joyce, if I wanted to, I could come down and sit between you all really quick, easy to start talking and be so quick and so easy. Do you know how easy that would be? But then you know how easy it is to let something come between you? Do you know with social media today, how easy that is to happen? An old boyfriend, an old girlfriend, an old relationship.

James Greer: 22:18 Say, man, I just saw you and just wanted to catch up with you. Don’t catch up with me. I don’t want to catch up with you. Only one I’m going to catch up to is my wife. Only one I want her to catch up is me. Amen? Don’t let anything come between you. Don’t let your hobby become between you. Don’t let your kids become between you. Did you know that the Song of Solomon says, catch the foxes. It’s the little foxes that spoil the vines. It’s usually not the big thing, it was the little things. And the little things you didn’t catch them and then they ended up being something big. So, what’s in your life that could be coming between you and your mate? You’re saying, I’m not married. What’s coming between you and God? What are you letting be allowed to come between you and God that now you don’t have the relationship you used to have with God? And God is saying, listen, I want you to allow me to build your house on the word of God.

James Greer: 23:19 I want you to guard, to keep the world out of your house and out of your mind. When to do that I’ll say you got to put God first, but to do that, you’ve got to have Christ in you. The hope of glory. You might be here today and you’re not sure. This is the time that you invited Jesus Christ as your personal savior. You’re here today and you know that you’ve sinned. Hey, there’s no sin too great for Jesus. God loved you enough. He sent his son to die on the cross for your sins. He wants to come and invite him into your heart, and he wants to be the Lord of your life.

James Greer: 23:49 Well, you’ve done that, but all of a sudden he’s not first place in your life. He’s not building, not allowing him to build it. And today you want to go back and say, I want to build it on the word. I love it because when Jesus talked to Peter, he said, upon this rock, I build my church and the gates of hell shall not prevail. You know what that means? On the opposite, God says, Hey, when you’re building your house and your foundation, your family up on the rock of Jesus Christ, you cannot fail and you can tell the devil to go to hell. Absolutely.

James Greer: 24:34 So, that’s what some people need to do today. So some, some people need to do that today by the authority in Jesus Christ. You need to take your house back and rebuke the devil. Are you guarding your heart or are you sensitive to God’s call? Are you sensitive God’s word? Are you following the filling in your life? In Ephesians he said, don’t be drunk with wine, but instead be filled with the holy spirit. Are you asking God for your filling that love and that joy and that peace that can only come from that, the power to walk through the most difficult times with the joy that surpasses understanding? Have you accepted your identity as who you are in Christ? That you’re a Saint, that you’re loved, that you’re forgiven. There’s no condemnation in you. That you’re fearfully and wonderfully made. Are you dependent upon each other? Are you not allowing anything or anybody to come between you? You know what, I think sometimes I think we just need to renounce everything else. I think we sometimes we just need to say, God, you all say God, God, we put you first.

James Greer: 25:48 renounce anything or anybody that comes between us and God. We renounce anything that comes between us and each other, if you’re married. Us and each other, amen. We commit to build our house upon the Lord. Therefore the gates of hell cannot prevail. In the name of Jesus, I command the devil to leave me and my house. And guess what? In the name of Jesus, guess what he has to do, baby. He has to flee. Amen? So now this was you’ve got to do. He’s got to flee, but then you’ve got to fill up the empty spot. You’ve got to and he’ll leave. He’s got to obey Jesus. There’s one time Jesus was pointing his finger at the demon and they all fled. So the name of Jesus, it’s the power of Jesus, the devil has the leave. He has to leave you, he has to leave your home, he has to leave your relationship, but if you don’t fill it with something, some more of them will come back. So, I’m encouraging you to take in the word, hear the word, write the word text the word. Amen? All right, let us stand. Let me pray with you and pray for you. Amen?

James Greer: 26:55 God, what a great God you are. What a powerful God you are. Your word is sharper than a two edges sword greater is He that is in me than in the world. You are here today. God begin to set people free, put marriages together, men relationships like never before. For those that need to accept Christ as a savior, if they just step out. Those that need to put you first in their life. Those that need to follow through in baptism, those that need to join the church, God, those that just need somebody to pray with them and pray for them. Whatever it is, God in the name and the power of Jesus. It’s in your name. We pray. Amen.

Recorded in Pineville, Louisiana.